In the book of set phrases “where there’s a will there’s a way” comes second after the evergreen “things are not as they used to be”. And frankly, most times it is a cliché. Others, not so much. Again, it depends on usnoi.
I’d like to focus on the narrative that everyone uses. I cannot dsay no, I cannot accept. I cannot let me go, I cannot go out tonight. I cannot answer that, I cannot take two hours off. I cannot afford to get sick, I cannot disappoint her.
“Cannot” often assumes that there is something or someone preventing us from doing something. It implies the existence of an agent so strong to bend our will. Each of these phrases might as well start with “I would, but …”. Basically, Fedez and J-Ax to the rescue. It implies that meeting someone else’s expectation is another influencing agent, an undeclared enemy, a threshold guardian.
What would happen if we tried to rewrite our narrative using “will”?
I won’t say no, i won’t say yes. For a thousand reasons I won’t make a decision. I. Will. Not.
I won’t let myself go, I have suffered so much that I’d rather avoid a new joy than risk suffering. I won’t go out tonight – I prefer couch and pasta with meat sauce. I won’t see anyone, there is nothing wrong with it, and I’m not depressed. I won’t take two hours off: the world would end without my contribution. Sometimes I do not feel ready, sometimes I just do not want to and that’s it. The “won’t” has an incredible power. It’s an admission (would it really be a fault?). It leads us to come to terms with who we really are. Not perfect and beautiful for this.
Homework for the weekend: your will can change the world
What if we replaced every little excuse we make up, every hiding place we create, every loophole with a clear and sharp position? What if this weekend we started to use will and won’t? What if we left the hamster wheel with our partner, friends, colleagues, dreaded boss and we assumed the responsibility of being the way we are with all the risk of not being liked… or to be loved because of who we are.
Simply us. Amazingly us. Finally us.
Your will can change the world, not your means.